Dorothy Parker, a writer, once said, “If a man could understand what a woman is thinking about, he wouldn’t believe it anyway.” That’s why a psychotherapist from Saint-Petersburg Aglaya Dateshidze tried to squeeze all the thoughts that a woman has into a couple lines.

Bright Side collected funny and ironic mini-stories that will help you understand the female soul a little better.

1.

Once upon a time, there lived a girl. She had been dreaming of learning to dance but she was moving toward her dream too slowly. All because she was extremely lazy. She got up at 7 a.m., took her kids to school, loaded the dishwasher, unloaded the washing machine, went shopping, cooked lunch, worked a little, listened to her husband in the evening, read a book to her kids before sleep, and cleaned the floors. After all that she could only crawl to her bed and bemoan again that she never has time to dance. What a lazy woman!

2.

Once upon a time, there lived a girl. She had a very poor inner world with a very narrow entrance — like a coin slot in a vending machine. New people could get there but only without arms, legs, and sometimes even a head.

So this girl would saw off their most interesting parts, get them into her world, and instantly feel bored because all people are the same and there is no one to talk to.

3.

Once upon a time, there lived 2 girls. One of them had a nice dress made of stereotypes, tailored at the nearest sewing factory. She bought it in some kiosk near the metro station. The other one had an individually-tailored dress made of her own experiences. She paid a lot for it. The first girl thought that the dress made of personal experiences looked inappropriate because it emphasized her body’s shape too much.

While the second girl was standing on the balcony, listening to the sea, and looking at the moon.

4.

Once upon a time, there lived a girl. She had no shame, no sense of guilt, and no conscience. But she did have everything else.

5.

Once upon a time, there lived a girl. She had always been depressed. Her life was always the same — rushing to work, from work to the gym, from the gym to study. But once she slipped and fell into depression for a long time. While there, she transformed into a painter. Since then, this girl never hurries anywhere, instead, she sits peacefully painting her canvas.

6.

Once upon a time, there lived a girl. She thought she was ruling the world. Turned out, she was simply straining herself trying to control things that don’t depend on her.

7.

Once upon a time, there lived a girl. And nobody played with this girl. She was very upset about it until the moment she realized that it was her who doesn’t want to play with anyone. So she started to play!

8.

Once upon a time, there lived a girl. Once she got tired. She started thinking about what she could do. While she wasn’t actually supposed to do anything.

9.

Once upon a time, there lived a girl. She thought that she was buzzed by men, flowers, and butterflies. Turned out, she was simply buzzed by life.

10.

Once upon a time, there lived a girl. She was the best of the best: always ready, always right, always kept her promises, always was an example to follow. To cut the story short, it was difficult to communicate with her.

11.

Once upon a time, there lived a girl. Once she was told that she was crazy and was sent to a training led by great women.

However, the first great woman was too busy threading a needle. The second one stayed in the bath all day and wasn’t able to teach the girl. The third one kept dancing the tarantella and laughing.

’Crazy nuts!’ thought the girl, and she calmed down.

12.

Once upon a time, there lived a girl. And one day she realized that she was happy.

So she sat in the kitchen not knowing how to handle this happiness.

13.

Once upon a time, there lived a girl. She was not born beautiful. After crying for a while, she decided to take care of herself as if she were beautiful. She washed herself, combed her hair, dressed herself up, and even bought herself presents. And soon she got married. Her husband took her clothes off and found out that she was beautiful inside too. And no one, except for the girl, was actually surprised.

14.

Once upon a time, there lived a girl. She liked to devote herself to others. And to justify it, she decided to devote herself to her loved ones and the money that she was spending on her loved ones. Later she got very offended when she found out that her loved ones don’t want to devote themselves to her. Or to anyone else around.

15.

Once upon a time, there lived a girl. She worked a lot but slept a little. Soon she decided to buy herself a warm coat and an expensive car with heated seats. In the mornings, she left home at 5 a.m. wrapping herself in the warm coat. After getting in the luxurious and warm car, she was always trying to smile to herself and she did… but really, she just wanted to sleep.

16.

Once upon a time, there lived a girl. She was looking for tricks everywhere… And she kept finding them!

17.

Once upon a time, there lived a girl. She was too pretentious to go to discos, to dance on the beach at night, to drink wine with strangers, to fall in love with a bad guy, to laugh at silly jokes, and to be silly. Later she matured and stopped being so snobby. Surprisingly, it made her even more conceited.

18.

Once upon a time, there lived a girl. She kept rushing everywhere trying to do as much as she could. Eventually, she couldn’t do anything.

19.

Once upon a time, there lived a boy. He was extremely good at mingling with girls. He went out with different girls every now and then. But once he met a woman he couldn’t understand. She was so mysterious for him that he decided to marry her so he could try understand her and reveal her mystery.

Which of these stories did you like the most? Which of them resembles your character the most? Please let us know in the comments!